FYI

The following are actual instructions found on the named items:

ON HAIRDRYER;
- Do not use while sleeping.

ON A BAG OF FRITOS:
- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP,
- Directions: Use like regular soap.

ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX:
- Fits one head.

ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING
- Product will be hot after heating

ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON
- Remove clothes before ironing

ON CHILDRENS COUGH MEDICINE
- Do not drive car or operate machinery

ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID)
- Warning: may cause drowsiness

ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE
- Warning: keep out of children

ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS
- For indoor or outdoor use only.

ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR
- Not to be used for the other use

ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS
- Warning: contains nuts

ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS
- Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW
- Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands